Summer 2014 August 8 Friday (Death)

81 degrees this morning.  Very muggy also. My “wicking shirt” was overwhelmed during my walk, but still more comfortable than an old style jeresy.   Walk was 55:35 minutes, also did sit-ups and weights.  Didn’t ride bike yesterday due to light rain.

Attended funeral yesterday.  It made me think about the forms of death we encounter.

The funeral itself was very interesting.  Apparently, the person had lived a life of her own choosing and the services reflected some of the favorite parts of her life,including a song I have never heard at a funeral before (Trashy Women,by  the group Confederate Railroad).

The service also reflected some of the difficulties she encountered in life.  Maybe some of the lyrics of the song reflect that, such as the following:

I like 'em sweet, I like 'em with a heart of gold.

Yeah an' I like 'em brassy, I like 'em brazen and bold.

I actually felt a lot of admiration for her as I learned about her life.  I never met her (and obviously never will), but she apparently lived life on her own terms.  

Thinking about death, I thought about how moving (another job, another City) is a lot like death in a sense.  You are moving on to another stage of life.  While, unlike physical death, you can visit where you moved from, you can never really return no matter how hard you try.  It is simply different.  (I always liked the title of the book “You Can’t Go Home Again”).  Not bad, just a change.  

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the visits and find them rewarding, it just that it is a different experience.  It is not living there.  I wouldn’t want to miss the visits, but it is never the same.

I even learned that when I was a child, and I was gone for a week or so.  When I returned, I was amazed that life had gone on without me!  I’m not quite sure what I expected when I returned, but I was surprised at how I felt.  I can’t even put it in words now. I remember I always felt I was missing something when I was gone, even though I was having my own experience.  

I think when you move, you are feeling the death of routines, the death of friendships (even if continued in a new or revised form or relationship), the separation from the physical house you lived in, relationships with neighbors etc, relationships with Doctors, and the person who does your hair, even the feeling of loss from places you enjoyed eating at or shopping at.  Even though I never said one word to them, I even felt the loss of the people I exercised with in the morning.  There was a feeling of attachment, even though we never spoke.

I have mentioned before that a friend of mine used to say “Live is a series of Hello’s and Goodby’s”   I always hated it when he said that, even though I realized the truth to it. I guess physical death is the final goodby.

Of course, changing of jobs/job lose and  moving also brings along with it the thought of separation and loss, major changes in your life and your realize your life will never be the same.  The changes are permanent, which is a form of death.

Oddly enough, I finished listening to “The Bully Pulpit” this morning, which of course concluded with the death of Teddy Roosevelt and William Taft.   (The book said Teddy Roosevelt “died in his sleep, which is probably the only way death could happen to him, if he had been awake he would have fought it!”).  

Of course, death also means you start another stage of life.  When I think about it, I realize every day is a series of deaths and renewals, we just notice the significant deaths and renewals. 

Death of one stage and starting of another stage isn’t necessarily good or bad, it just is.  

(Change of thoughts here!)  Scheduled for Apple store session today, I always enjoy them and learn something new every time.  

That’s it for now, Friday, August 8, 2014.

SUMMER 2014 June 21 Saturday (A Lull in the Life in the Midst of Chaos) The Deed is Done

75 degrees this morning, still a little coolness in the air.

Life in the midst of moving boxes. We are currently living in "travel mode" since most of our belongings were packed up yesterday.

The deed is done.  We have officially sold our beloved house, with the wonderful patio, and must move by Monday. We "closed" Friday afternoon, with possession until Monday night. The next three days will be a period of goodbyes and final steps.  My wi fi continues, unaware it will permanently end on Monday, as with the phone service.  Thank goodness we have them over the weekend!

Walk this morning, two Sheriff patrol vehicles drove through.  Not sure if I should feel safe or scared!  Shelby County does an excellent job of patrolling the city, another aspect of life in Lakeland I will miss.  

The Lease for the house we planned to lease arrived, and we realized it contained provisions unacceptable to us so we will be "homeless" as of Monday night with until July 3 to find a home for our belongings.  The proposed lease we received contained a provision that the rent increased 10% after one year! and provisions on how we were responsible for all kinds of items most landlords take care of routinely.  It was one of those national businesses that bought up a homogenous number of houses in foreclosure and is now renting them out.  Nothing wrong with that, but they apparently need to work on their business practices.  I can't imagine anyone signing a lease like that.

This morning I realized I had coffee and a coffee maker, but no filters.  A quick trip and that matter was settled!  I didn't have any coffee yesterday at all, and I was in the mood for some coffee.  As I say, coffee is my only vice, and I am going to enjoy it!

Sitting outside on my patio, as I enjoy it for the last few times.  I can't imagine being able to get anything like it at another house (I haven't seen anything anyway), so I will enjoy it while I can.  I will miss the singing (and some simply noise) of the birds and the occasional deer and the silly antics of the squirrels.  Right now, I can even hear a deer, but can't see it.

The much anticipated first day of Summer has arrived, with little fanfare.  Of course, there is always that felling in the back of my mind that the days will now start getting shorter with the descent into Winter, although there is a lot of time left in Summer.  

I am trying to figure out how to forward mail etc. when I don't know my forwarding address.  It sounds kind of suspicious to say "no forwarding address"!  Actually, I fully expect to have something within a few days, but it means our priority has become finding a reasonably good house.  We really liked the one we had picked out, but many others are comparable or close and we may find something even better.

Today we are saying goodbye to a number of people, tomorrow we take care of some final moving details , getting ready for the Monday move as well as saying some more hard to say goodbyes, Monday  we move to who knows where.  Interesting times.

But in the final analysis, we are glad the decision has finally been made.  Living in the never-never land of now knowing where we were going, and not being able to make any decisions, (in spite of being pleasant with our friends, the house, and the things we love about the Memphis area, which are many) was beginning to get old.  We knew we couldn't stay in the house or Lakeland, since we can't stand to see the deterioration of Lakeland into the "no where city" it is rapidly becoming. Sometimes, it is better to remember what was, than what is.  

That's it for now, Saturday, June 21, 2014, the first day of Summer.  

Spring 2014 June 18 Wednesday

79 degrees this morning, wonderful day on the patio.  Sounds a little strange, but there is a coolness in the air.

Life on the edge.  

--Our Air conditioning is out.  Maybe lucky, maybe not, when we listed the house, we purchased a "home warranty" (which includes the AC) and in a "what the heck" moment, made it effective immediately rather than just for the new buyer.  A shock that our AC is out, but I'm glad the have the warranty.  Our normally HVAC person guarantees priority service, so we will try the home warranty person first.  Fortunately the ceiling fans etc. kept us cool during the night.  As the day goes on it could get worse.  Currently it is 81 degrees in the house, not bad right now, but obviously will get hotter as the day goes on.

-We may be closing Monday, June 23 and have to be out of the house Monday or...maybe not.  It basically depends on an inspection today by the insurance company on whether the roof is covered by insurance.  If not, the closing will probably be off.  

We have looked at houses in another area and have arranged to have our household items stored for awhile until we find another house, but ....  Of course then there is all the "goodbye's which have to be said, if we are moving Monday, if not we don't want to say goodbye until we have to.  I didn't realize "goodbye" was "spelled "goodbye" until spell check insisted on it this morning.  I normally say "goodby", which spell check insists is wrong!  Kind of like "separate" , for years I spelled it "seperate" until spell check taught me different.

-Both of us are juggling dental and medical appointments, not sure if we will be here next week or not.  My "opening up" appointment on my teeth implants was delayed until August since the surgeon decided it was too early.

-We have to continue packing as if we are moving, but, at the same time, make sure we can live here for an indefinite period if the closing doesn't go through.

-On top of that, I have an hour and one/half computer test tomorrow (I get an e-mail and have 1 1/2 hours to complete it from the time the e-mail arrives to complete it and send it back).  I am studying to refresh my memory on Excel and Word etc. on top of everything else.

Anyway, somehow life seems normal!  I think is it the fact that both of us, since late November, have realized life will never be the same as it has for the past 12 years, so we need to be flexible and adapt fast!  The hardest part will be leaving some wonderful friends in Lakeland and, to a somewhat lesser degree, leaving our wonderful house and patio.  Nothing we say even comes close to the house we have now, or especially the patio.  

I think the moving, and to some degree, the changes, are making me much more aware of buying "things".  I am going to have to really want something to buy a "thing" in the future. I think the problem is that I can't get rid of "things".  I have stuff that would almost cost nothing (will, not much) to replace and it is literally cheaper to buy it in the future IF I need it.  This includes clothes, tv's (that are obsolete anyway), radios, electrical wires that I have no idea what they are used for, flashlights that don't work, luggage that I never use and of course, clothes, clothes, clothes.  

Hot Wheels? No way, they are worth it!  In fact, if I can find the space.... Actually, I got started photographing and cataloging my collection of Hot Wheels (and Matchbox and other brands) but had to stop since they are considered "clutter" (by some people, especially potential house buyers), so we had to pack them away.  I expect to continue to enlarge my collection of Hot Wheels etc., but I probably won't get anything larger.  Much as I hate too, I know I need to weed my books, since they deserve to be read.  

We plan on having a "family giveaway" after we move, we will put stuff out, if they want it, they can have it, otherwise we are donating it to Charity.  This includes luggage, bags, clothes, and who knows what else.  Aliene and I had one garage sale once, and we decided never again.

I just happened to think, if the house closing does go through Monday, we will be "homeless" at least for several days or longer.  Of course, I don't want to move again for a long time, so the selection of a house is important.  Since we are intending to rent, we will have the option, but also are at the mercy of someone drastically increasing the rent, although it normally doesn't happen.

Just checked and the Summer Solstice is June 21 this year.  A really neat web site "Apples4theteacher.com".  

Three days until the official start of Summer.

That's it for now, Wednesday, June 18, 2004.