Summer 2014 August 8 Friday (Death)

81 degrees this morning.  Very muggy also. My “wicking shirt” was overwhelmed during my walk, but still more comfortable than an old style jeresy.   Walk was 55:35 minutes, also did sit-ups and weights.  Didn’t ride bike yesterday due to light rain.

Attended funeral yesterday.  It made me think about the forms of death we encounter.

The funeral itself was very interesting.  Apparently, the person had lived a life of her own choosing and the services reflected some of the favorite parts of her life,including a song I have never heard at a funeral before (Trashy Women,by  the group Confederate Railroad).

The service also reflected some of the difficulties she encountered in life.  Maybe some of the lyrics of the song reflect that, such as the following:

I like 'em sweet, I like 'em with a heart of gold.

Yeah an' I like 'em brassy, I like 'em brazen and bold.

I actually felt a lot of admiration for her as I learned about her life.  I never met her (and obviously never will), but she apparently lived life on her own terms.  

Thinking about death, I thought about how moving (another job, another City) is a lot like death in a sense.  You are moving on to another stage of life.  While, unlike physical death, you can visit where you moved from, you can never really return no matter how hard you try.  It is simply different.  (I always liked the title of the book “You Can’t Go Home Again”).  Not bad, just a change.  

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the visits and find them rewarding, it just that it is a different experience.  It is not living there.  I wouldn’t want to miss the visits, but it is never the same.

I even learned that when I was a child, and I was gone for a week or so.  When I returned, I was amazed that life had gone on without me!  I’m not quite sure what I expected when I returned, but I was surprised at how I felt.  I can’t even put it in words now. I remember I always felt I was missing something when I was gone, even though I was having my own experience.  

I think when you move, you are feeling the death of routines, the death of friendships (even if continued in a new or revised form or relationship), the separation from the physical house you lived in, relationships with neighbors etc, relationships with Doctors, and the person who does your hair, even the feeling of loss from places you enjoyed eating at or shopping at.  Even though I never said one word to them, I even felt the loss of the people I exercised with in the morning.  There was a feeling of attachment, even though we never spoke.

I have mentioned before that a friend of mine used to say “Live is a series of Hello’s and Goodby’s”   I always hated it when he said that, even though I realized the truth to it. I guess physical death is the final goodby.

Of course, changing of jobs/job lose and  moving also brings along with it the thought of separation and loss, major changes in your life and your realize your life will never be the same.  The changes are permanent, which is a form of death.

Oddly enough, I finished listening to “The Bully Pulpit” this morning, which of course concluded with the death of Teddy Roosevelt and William Taft.   (The book said Teddy Roosevelt “died in his sleep, which is probably the only way death could happen to him, if he had been awake he would have fought it!”).  

Of course, death also means you start another stage of life.  When I think about it, I realize every day is a series of deaths and renewals, we just notice the significant deaths and renewals. 

Death of one stage and starting of another stage isn’t necessarily good or bad, it just is.  

(Change of thoughts here!)  Scheduled for Apple store session today, I always enjoy them and learn something new every time.  

That’s it for now, Friday, August 8, 2014.

Spring 2014 June 10 Tuesday

68 degrees this morning.  Still wet outside, but not raining, able to exercise.

Listening to (and also readingI) the "Bully Pulpit", I was thinking of the amount of time "off" people used to take, it seems it would be impossible now.  For example, S.S. McClure spent months in "bed rest", Roosevelt went west for years, sometimes would on on a year long hunting trip and Taft spent years in the Philippines,  and numerous people would spent time in Europe, in a time when transpiration itself was probably measured in weeks or months rather than hours.  

Then I think that I spent 12 years in Tennessee (and counting), although I don't really consider it "away" from anything or anywhere, it is just life.  I guess they thought the same thing, but I really wonder how they remained prominent  in Washington D.C. (or other areas) when they were gone so much.  It isn't like they had e-mail, video mail/chat etc. or even telephones.  Probably the only communication was by letter and even that was slow.

I feel like there is a "common culture" created by our communications (news media, interment, rapid travel etc.) and I think today it would be hard to just disappear from that common culture for years.  Considering that back then the average lift span was probably 20 years shorter than now, it raises a real question in my mind on how they did it.  I will think on this some more and do some research.

Sometimes I wish I had majored in history, or at least had taken more courses in history, and more specifically, historical research.  Of course, I have time to do that now, so I may just do that!  Maybe especially on how history impacts current actions.  

Birds ware noisily this morning, maybe because of the rain (I"m not sitting outside since the patio furniture is still wet and it is slightly chilly.  

Back to history, I read "On China" by Henry Kissinger (well, I listened to it) and I was struck by how history is recognized as significant. Even the cultural revolution was (this is a very simplified statement) was designed to remove the Chinese culture from the influence of much of it's history.

The other day a question on Jeopardy was on a "spoken language".  Both Aliene and I instantly recognized the language was Chinese!  We remember more than we think we do!

Keeping it short today, may write more later today.

That's it for now, Tuesday, June 20, 2014.

Spring 2014 5 20 Tuesday

70 degrees this morning.  A little cool, but I decide to sit on our wonderful patio to write this.  The wind is blowing through the trees, the birds a chirping and it is wonderful.  First time this spring.

Re-entry into daily life after China has been ok.  I have gotten back into my exercise routine without any problems.  I am waking up at 2 a.m., probably related to jet lag.  I like the extra productivity time, but I know it isn't sustainable.  My experience in China has made me a lot more aware of Chinese stories and books..  Actually, in China I really enjoyed the "Shanghai Daily", which was a English language paper for Shanghai residents and provided a lot of insight into Shanghai.  

Reading and listening to "The Bully Pulpit" by Doris Kearns Goodwin.  I love her books.  I read it on the way from Shanghai on the plane and got about maybe 25% through, so it is not a fast read but it is  a good one.  I also am listening to it on my morning walk.  I discovered I liked doing that since one reinforces the other.  It is a book about Teddy Roosevelt, but also William Taft and S.S. McClure and numerous other characters that are woven into a really enjoyable story.  

I first heard Doris Kearns Goodwin at a landmark City Managers Conference in Cincinnati.  I immediately got all of her books and started reading them (it took me several years).  At the same Conference I heard Beck Weathers (Left for Dead) and his fascinating story about mountain climbing, which was more of a story about addiction (not the right word) and focusing on the wrong thing and not letting yourself lose focus over what is important in life.  I also started reading mountain climbing books, and still do, but I have not desire to climb a mountain, any more than I'd like to learn boxing because of my secret liking for boxing.  

I heard Doris Kearns Goodwin in Pittsburg and actually met her at the TGIFridays restaurant in the Airport.  (She spoke on "Team of Rivals".  I just told her I enjoyed her books and left her alone, but I was kicking myself for not bringing all of her books with me to ask her to sign them!  

She is going to be at a conference later this year and I"m sure, will speak on The Bully  Pulpit. I am looking forward to it and I want to finish the book and the recording before the conference.  The recording is challenging, I think it is 39 hours.  At 1/2 hour per day (my walking time), it will take me about 3 months to listen to the entire book.  

I will be going to my first "job fair' this week.  I am going more for experience as anything, but who knows.  

Rats, wind is coming up a little too cool on the patio.  I don't know how it looks so bare in winter and so lush in Summer.

Our house is on the market again.  The buyer we had the contract with backed out for a variety of reasons.  She wanted some modifications and I think found they cost than she expected.  

One of the difficult aspects of being away for awhile is to catch up on all your mail and reading material (magazines etc.).  It takes me a week to go through everything and I just throw away all the back magazines and newspapers.  I learned a long time ago not to even try.

Watched a Front Line last night about "solitary confinement".  It was fascinating, a study of absolute rage at being in a small room by yourself and how prisoners deal with it.  

On the plane, I noticed how everyone waited the next meal, snack etc.  Kind of like being in prison you think of it, you're in a seat belt, under complete control of authority, and no means to escape!

That's it for today.  Tuesday, May 20, 2014.