Saturday, September 28, 2013

Fall 2013 September 28


78/79 degrees (66/69 Memphis).  Dental surgery feeling much better, hopefully the skin rash is also doing better.  Had to skip swimming this morning due to skin rash.
Rain coming in.  I would love to live in a place where it almost never rains (such as San Diego), at least in theory.  I realize we "need rain", but I have never liked rain and I like it less as I have to deal with drainage problems etc.!  Drainage problems are especially hard to deal with because  "everyone is an expert" and water is going to go someplace on matter what. Also, it can cause so much damage, and can suddenly be a problem where it has never been a problem before.  Of course, the last time I was in San Diego, it hadn't rained for six months and it rained the entire time I was there, at times even flooding rain.  Such is life!  
Like much of life "balance" is important, so I just have to accept that rain is part of the cycle and hope that the "balance" is maintained!  
I am not sure if balance is in the eye of the beholder (so to speak) or if there is a natural balance, but I know it is important.  "Moderation in all things" is a good way to live if you can remember the process in your daily living! 

Friday, September 27, 2013

Fall 2013 September 27



62/65 degrees, 68/71 in Memphis.  Area of dental surgery still hurts.
16 years ago today, my Mother passed away.  I got a call from my mother on the evening of September 26 and there was just a "gasp" like she was breathing hard.  Since it was late when I  got the message, I called her back early the next morning and my brother in law called and advised she had passed away during the night. I realize how fast time goes when I realize it has been 16 years since that date.
Been too busy to read the morning papers like I always do and I can feel the loss, much as I feel the loss of my daily walk and bike ride.   I will be glad to get back into both.
Sometimes it is difficult to realize some of the daily habits mend their way until you life until you don't have the opportunity to do them during the day.  
I expect  I am about to live through The "World Without End is Ending" concept again, with a World which seemed unending about to end.  That is kind of how I felt when my parents passed away.  While I knew they would eventually pass on, I don't think I ever really realized it would happen until it happened. One day it happens and your entire world changes.  
Wedding Rehearsal dinner for Aliene's grandson tonight, tomorrow is the wedding.  The World Without End starts.
Developed a rash on parts of my body (legs, inside elbows, wrists, stomach area.  Don't know if it is an allergy or something else, hoping something that is cured quickly abd easily.  Does't itch too much,l but when it does it is maddening.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Fall 2013 September 26

68/71 degrees this morning.  Head cold (hope not flu) and still having effects from the dental surgery.  Otherwise, a good day!  I especially hate a head cold, it seems to just keep me underwater.  Don't feel bad enough I can just go to bed, but don't feel that sharp for everyday activities also!  Plus I always think about how good it is to feel good and ponder what it would be like if I felt this way all the time! 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Fall 2013 September 25


48/48 degrees, 68/70 degrees in Memphis.  Feel like I have a slight cold.  I hope not and am hoping it is an allergy or  a change in the weather. 
Dental surgery area still bothers me.  Appears to be a sensitivity to certain types of food or could even be I have a cold and it is bothering my teeth.
Ate too much again yesterday, this really does need to stop!
Wonderful swim this morning.  Cool, but water was just right.  
About ready to get back into the routine again.  As usual, my expectations were larger than the time, although I was able to get one book read.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Fall 2013 September 24


48/48 degrees, 68/70 degrees in Memphis.  Feel like I have a slight cold.  I hope not and am hoping it is an allergy or  a change in the weather. 
Dental surgery area still bothers me.  Appears to be a sensitivity to certain types of food or could even be I have a cold and it is bothering my teeth.
Ate too much again yesterday, this really does need to stop!
Wonderful swim this morning.  Cool, but water was just right.
Sometimes I think a conference is about like life.  By the time you know where you are going and how to get there, it is over.

Fall 2013 September 23


50/52 Degrees (63 in Memphis) Went swimming this morning, which was wonderful.  I swim and then sit in the hot tub and then swim some more.
Fall is here, both in name and in spirit.  Today is my cousins' 65th birthday.  I am struck by this since I have known him since I was a child and some of my first memories are playing with him, so realizing he is 65 (and I am older than him) ...time really does go fast.
A busy day ahead.  I ate too much junk food yesterday after doing pretty well for awhile, so it is time to get back on the Willpower wagon again!
My dental surgery area is still bothering me, but it is good in as sense since it is getting better so I know it is improving.  I will have the "foundations" and "posts" put in for the new two teeth implants in about 5 months.  Probably that won't be a lot of fun either, but it is part of the process.
Finished "Joyland" by Stephen King Saturday. It was a relatively good book. I haven't read a Stephen King book for awhile (I did read "The Dome" when the book first came out).  His good books are absolutely wonderful, you can feel yourself get caught up in them and it is almost like you can imagine it really happening.  His bad ones are almost unreadable, in fact I don't read them.
I used to struggle reading a book, trying to finish it.  Now I probably frequently stop reading a book almost too often (especially a fiction book) almost too fast.  It is kind of like reading newspapers, why read about the celebrities, crime etc. and waste the time

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Fall 2013 September 22


69 degrees, 60 degrees in Memphis
I'll take back what I said about the Commercial Appeal being the best digital newspaper.  It is WHEN YOU CAN GET THROUGH TO IT!  It has the worst interface to access it, continually buggy etc.  After they raised their price from $15 to $23 per month (50% increase?) it seems they would have fixed their continual access problems.  But they obviously haven't, it has even gotten worse.
I am assuming it is now "Fall" and Summer 2013 has ended.  Unlike many years, I have read nothing about the beginning of Fall, except a short squib on the Weather Channel several days ago.
Currently early Sunday morning.  Looking forward to going swimming this morning.  Swimming is enjoyable, even if I really just paddle around.
Continuing on my "Willpower Instinct" reading (as noted by my notes in this blog).  Like anything, reading about it won't matter, writing about it won't matter, unless I do something about it and make it a daily habit.  I will try to set aside a few minutes per day to practice what i learn.
I am pretty sure my willpower objectives will include better organization, which I have struggled with for years.  I really am not sure why this is a problem, since I like  nice, neat files and organization.  I can remember the first time I went to a federal government office (after I started working for a City) and noticed how they had a tremendous number of files and I was amazed to think that everything was filed and retrievable.  Somehow it has not filtered into my behavior!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Summer 2013 September 21, 2013: Willpower Instinct Part 2


Chapter Two Notes:
-Craving--"I want"
Self-Contorl is a matter of physiology, not just psychology.  Temporary state of mind between mind and body.

Stress (danger etc.) "focuses your atttention and senses and your surroundings making sure no stray thoughts distract you from the threat.
      ""flight or fight responses makes you more impulsive. , helps you defend against threats.
**** Self Control: different type of approach to self preservation; 

****Breathing your way to self control:  Slow breath down to 4 to six per minute (don't hold breath, just slow and steady)
TWO WILLPOWER "MIRACLES" 
-Exercise, any type
-"Green Exercise"  (get outside and walk, even if just for 5 minutes0
-Get more sleep or take short naps
STRESS focuses on short-term, self control requires keeping the big picture in mind

Summer 2013 September 21


60/60 Degrees this morning, 69/69 degrees in Lakeland.
The last day of Summer (or maybe this is the first day of Autumn).  I had a teacher mention once about how it always rained around the first day of Fall.  My question (and it still is), if this is true, how come it doesn't rain everywhere on the first day of  Fall? 
Teeth are still very sensitive.  I have learned to avoid crunchy foods.  In a way that is good, I have lost almost 7 lbs (at last count last Monday) since the surgery, which means I was just eating too much!  I had been maintaining my weight and not really concerned about losing, although I would like to lose about 17 more lbs. I had lost about 45 lbs and had stabilized at my new weight for about a year, so it is time to go ahead and lose the rest I need to lose.  I can lose 15 lbs and still wear my clothes I have purchased since I lost weight. I have spent around $2,000 just replacing too large clothes, so it has not been cheap.
Opportunity to swim this morning.  I love swimming.  It is such a good feeling to glide through the water, feeling the water slice before you and the cold (if so) water on you.  It is a sense of freedom that is hard to explain.  I want sometime to have my own indoor "when my ship comes in", but I have a feeling the "ship" will be an apartment or condominium or an exercise place close to me!   
I don't really swim, I just dog paddle around, but I have a lot of fun.  If these is a hot tub or a sauna, even better!

Just got back from swimming. I love the pools with "salt" instead of chorine.  I don't understand how it works, but it is a lot nicer.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Summer 2013 September 20


73/76 degrees this morning.
Day of vacation today.  Preparing for a meeting.
Municipal election for Lakeland was yesterday.  Thank goodness the trashy yard signs are gone. 
Wish I had transferred all of my retirement accounts over to cash yesterday, I figured Congress would start playing politics and the stock market would decline.  
I am writing this at a  different time today, late afternoon rather than early morning.  
I am still feeling effects of he dental surgery, primarily "teeth hurting" and numbness in my mouth.  I am more than ready for the effects to cease.  The problem is I assume in five months when I have the foundations installed, the same thing will happen.  Part of the process I guess.
Just saw on the Weather Channel that it is 1 day,  21 hours until Fall.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Summer 2013 September 19


73 degrees today, very nice, neither too cool nor warm.
My experiment with trying to "have it all" and read the Commercial Appeal, the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times is actually going well.  I thought I would be overwhelmed by the amount of time it takes to read them, but it hasn't.  I have had to set priorities. 
 I actually have a lot of respect for each paper in it's respective world it attempts to inhabit.  (I also read the on-line version of the USA Today.  I like it, but I also never look at the videos.) It is worth the time, and, if I am out of town, I can look at them on the Internet.  (The Commercial Appeal has the best replica edition by far.)
I have learned to skip the "junk" news about "celebrities" (except for local ones that Michael Donahue writes about), crime, puff pieces etc. Each paper seems to have it's own brand of news that is unique and I actually find little overlap.  Like several t-shirts I have read "So many Newspapers, so little time"  (Well, they actually read "books", but same thought.
My early mornings, from 3:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. are so packed, I have no flex time built in.  So anytime I have an early morning meeting I have to cut something.  I tell people (if I"m late) I didn't get up late, I just ran out of time!  I always leave time for my 27 minutes nap in the morning after I walk, ride and shower.  
Today is election day here.  I will be glad to see all of the signs gone and not trashing up the city.  
 Still listening to the Willpower Instinct.  I plan on deep-reading chapter 2 of the book this weekend and making notes on it.  Probably becoming better organized will be my "willpower" project.
Either tomorrow or Saturday will officially end the Summer of 2013 and Autumn will start.  Overall, it's been a good Summer, a little cool, but a good Summer.  

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Summer 2013 September 18


75/75 degrees this morning.  Walked, didn't cycle, has some catching up on work to do.
Good day yesterday, took a day of vacation for visitors.  Went on Mississippi River cruise, ate at the Rendezvous BBQ in downtown Memphis.  Service was good, but ribs are to my liking.  I had some at TGIFridays the week before I liked a lot better.  My ribs were tough, there wasn't much and I didn't care that much for the taste.
Still listening to the Willpower Instinct.  Anticipation of reward was discussed this morning.  
Extremely busy day this morning, starting at 7:30 a.m. and almost going straight through.  
Lakeland Municipal Election is tomorrow and I think everyone will be glad when it is over. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Summer 2013 September 17


69/74 degrees.  Quiet with no clouds. 
Got some early work done, but am taking a day of vacation today.  Alienes brother and his wife are visiting on their way to a trip to east Tennessee.  It will be fun showing them around.  
Listening to the Willpower Instinct (2nd time around, which is unusual).  Today was about studies that show that doing one thing "good" (such as recycling or contributing to a cause) may "give" us permission to actually do impulsive actions that more than negate our "good actions".  That is amazing if true.  Of course, I knew that it is easy to fall in the trap of "I exercised today and burned 200 calories, so I can eat that candy bar" etc. , but the other-that even a thought about doing good may lead to undesirable impulsive behavior is much more subtle.  
Also the author went into Heath's experiments and experiments showing the the "potential for pleasure" is really the basis for much of our addictive habits.  It's not that the action itself is pleasurable, it is the expectation or anticipation of pleasure.  Looking back, I can see instances of that in my life, such as planning a trip being more fund than the trip etc.
I bought a new "rear" light for my bicycle, hoping to catch the attention of the most inattentive person.  Supposedly it can be seen for a mile.  I recently heard of a resident who was hit head on by someone who was "texting" and hit her.  Scary. 
The company English Garden apparently has decided to abandon any attempt to see that the landscaping is completed right.  I get so tired of companies that just grab the money and really don't care what kind of job they do.  No matter how much you check them out you never can tell.  Left shrubs half unplanted and dying.  I had expected better, but than I always anticipate people will try to do their best, not just take the money and run.  

Monday, September 16, 2013

Summer 2013 September 16


63/67 degrees this morning.  I wonder if the warm weather is gone for the year?
Monday, need I say any more?  Actually, I normally look forward to returning to the office. The area of the dental surgery is aching this morning and so I feel I am somewhat subpar, although it isn't enough to worry about.
The Lakeland City election is this weekend.  Hopefully things will settle down after that and the residents will have made the correct decision for the future of Lakeland.  I feel the local elected officials of a municipality are the most important elected officials in how they affect the lives of residents.  A city can have a huge impact on the local environment.  At least the signs will be gone.
Going back to making 8 cups of coffee in the morning (I have been making individual cups since surgery since I was concerned about hurting my mouth).   I like drinking coffee, what I say is my only remaining vice, although I don't know if it is that much of a vice anymore.  I especially like drinking coffee while sitting on the patio and reading the paper, but I feel it is more valuable to read the papers while I exercise on the stationary bike.
Lost a little weight since dental surgery.  I would like to lose about 10 more lbs (just enough so I don't have to buy a bunch more clothes).  I lost weight in the past two years (with a modified "low carb" diet of little bread or potatoes, although I do eat fruit) and had to buy all new clothes at the tune of about $1500.  And I had the pleasure of finally being able to wear the clothes I had kept for years for "when I lost weight", which was probably the highpoint of losing weight!  I have been stalled at one weight for about a year (since November of  2012), although I am not dissatisfied with that weight.  
Losing weight, especially the relatively  large amount I did, was pleasing and I do everything possible to not let "weight creep" allow me to get overweight again.The weight charts still say I am overweight, but I know what I can maintain and look and feel great at, which is about 12 lbs less than I weigh now.  
Aliene's brother and his wife are coming by for a visit today.  This is their first visit to us here in Lakeland, so we will enjoy showing them around Lakeland and Memphis.  Probably include a trip on the Mississippi.  One good thing, when I was in grade school, I learned to spell "Mississippi" as a rhyme, so I never have a problem spelling it!
No poem today, I completed "The World Without End is Ending" and I have never written another poem that I would care to publish. 

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Summer 2013 September 15


58/61 degrees.  Brisk walk and bike ride this morning!  
Set up my "Chromecast" yesterday. Impressive, if more limited that the Apple tv device.
Had some time yesterday to study the book "The Willpower Instinct".  Reviewed the first chapter.  Not to bore anyone, but I learn when I try to explain (Maybe I need to set up a new blog for this).  Basically he went into Willpower Challenges of "I will" (something you want to do more of or stop putting off) "I won't" ((What like to give up, a "sticky" habit) and I want (what I wants are distracting you from long term, more valuable "I wants".   Willpower is the ability to use the three (I will, I want, I won't) powers to get what you really want.
To paraphrase we have two "selves", the self that acts on impulse for immediate gratification and the self that controls our impulses and delays gratification for long term goals.  They are both us, but switch back and forth.  Neither is bad in and of itself, in fact without desires we become depressed and without fear, we'd fall to protect ourselves.
First Rule of Willpower:  KNOW YOURSELF!-Develop self-awareness as the first step to willpower. BE AWARE YOU ARE MAKING A DECISION! Making a decision while distracted and not being aware of the decision may lead to an impulsive decision and thus not the best decision.  
--Action to take:  Try to be aware of decisions and when I am giving into impulses.  Don't try to control, just be aware. Awareness of the impulse and the awareness I can control my behavior if I wished is the first step.
Techniques for willpower:  
-Breath focus/Meditation:  Sit still, feed on ground.  As far as fidgeting, other thoughts, "See if you can feel the urge but not follow it-learning to automatically not follow such impulses your body and brain produces!
-Become aware of breathing, say "inhale and exhale" , if notice mind wandering, bring it back to the breathe. 
-Notice how it feels to breathe and notice how the mind wanders.  Drop the labels "inhale and exhale" and focus on the feeling of breathing .  
-Start with a few minutes a day.
Enough for today of that!
Relatively relaxing weekend so far.  Caught up on some work, some reading etc.
Last poem from "The World Without End is Ending" is "Dreams of Youth".  Again, I don't recall the purpose of this poem, probably descriptive again.
I am pleased to not that, approximately 20 years after writing this poem, I do not experience many, if any of the feelings other that "Old Age is like a never present tomorrow".  I define "old age" as a lot older than I did then!  
DREAMS OF YOUTH
Living in the present
Life,
A never ending song
Of highs and lows
 Old age
A foreign place
Never to be visited
Like a never present tomorrow
Hearing the sweet songs of Spring
Dissolve into
The sour dirge of Winter
 Visual fading
As the years
Stain the colors of
Dreams unfulfilled
Like a sunset, swallowed by the dark
Touching
The rough dry form
Of the wrinkled replica of life
The roughness of the years
Like hardened bark on a tree
Tasting the myth
Of sour
Shattered success
And bitter
Tattered dreams
 Hearing the cheers of youth
Turn to the jeers of
Retrospective thoughts
 The redundant musty odor
Of wasted time and opportunities
Like the muddy river, never
To be the ocean
Like firewood
Consumed by the flames
Of today
The years  dissolve
Into fragile memories
Of the ashes of life

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Summer 2013 September 14


61/65 degrees this morning.  Didn't have a bite to it, but it was chilly!  Soon I will be saying "Fall 2013" (or Autumn 2013, I haven't decided yet).
The Dentist gave me an "ok" on my dental surgery, said it looked good and the surgery  went great.  It will be another five months before the next step, although I do have a six week check.   I think the next step is to install the "posts",  and then my regular Dentist puts in crowns which are actually the teeth.  Fortunately, this goes over two separate years for dental insurance purposes and it is covered as separate procedures, which saves me a considerable amount of money.
"Early voting" today in the Lakeland elections.  I always thought "early voting" sounded kind of strange, but it seems to work work well in providing a chance to vote.  I don't like to vote at the polls in Tennessee because they allow candidates and supporters and apparently unlimited signs outside the polling place (I think there is a 100' distance they have to stand behind. You have to walk through a bunch of yelling candidates/supporters, signs etc. to vote.  It is almost harassing, but it is also democracy in action as far as candidates having maximum opportunity to convey their message.  However, I usually try to "early vote" either downtown or at another area without the harassment.  (For example, I voted in this election already, in Arlington.)
My poem today from "The World Without End is Ending" is "The Fizz is Gone"  (my last one will be tomorrow).  I expect this poem is an  assignment to use words to convey pictures or feelings or sounds.   
THE FIZZ IS GONE
 Failure is as soiled and
Yellowed as an old sheet
 Sounds like an old car
As it spins without starting
Failure tastes like
Soda gone flat
 Failure feels like the rasp of sandpaper
Taking away the good and the bad
Grinding all into dust
 Failure smells like the standing water
left in the dishpan of life

Friday, September 13, 2013

Summer 2013 September 13


75/77 degrees this morning when I got up.  However, it was too chilly to sit on the patio, so the temporary must have dropped. (current temporary is 73, but slight wind and the sun not being up yet make it very cool).
Less than one week before the City election.  I will be glad when it is over, the signs are down etc.  
Going in for checkup on dental surgery today.  Expect everything will be ok, although my jaw is still numb etc.   Like the election, what is, is, and I can't change it so I have to deal with it.  I'll be glad when the process is over, but there are at least three more procedures.  
The start of Autumn is about one week away also (probably September 21).  I can feel it in the air, although it will be awhile before it actually arrives.  Soon the leaves will fall and we will wait for the start of Spring and the colorful flowers emerge again. Aliene already has her Fall items up.
Went to a presentation on "de=cluttering" yesterday.  I'll try to follow some of the techniques I leaded and apply them on a regular basis.  Maybe put a few minutes a day into it.  In the "Willpower Instinct" it was mentioned (this was for meditation, but would apply to anything), "a short time of actual practice today is better than a long time of practice tomorrow that never happens! (or something like that).
I am glad the weekend is coming up.  Actually it will give me a chance to catch up on work, I have gotten so far behind, but at least I do it when I want and where I want!
Poem today from "The World Without End is Ending" is "Porch Magic".  Our house on the farm I grew up on actually did have a one of those porches that almost surrounded the house, if I remember correctly.  I think it surrounded the front and side and there was a separate porch on the back.  For some reason, the back porch was considered more formal (by me, not anyone else-this was never discussed, just a feeling of mine) and the front porch was where all the action was.  We would spin ourselves around the porch pole supports until we got dizzy.  
I did play on the porch, although my favorite area was my "City" out in a grove of threes where my imagimation was creative (I had few toys) and rocks became cars and buildings and I, unknowingly, played "City Manager".  
Hot nights we would frequently sleep on the porch, with our dog and numerous cats. 
PORCH MAGIC
 The porch
Surrounding the house of our yesterdays
Elaborate architecture of wood
Flat as the Kansas prairie 
The rotting
Unpainted boards
 Became elaborate cities
With high rise office buildings
Freeways, parks
And people
Surging seas with warring ships
Peg legged pirates,
Feuding on the stormy water
Burying gold coins in wooden chests
On small deserted islands
 The badlands teeming with desperadoes
As we rode in
Beat the bullies
And loved the ladies
Rejoicing in our shadow lives
In the blazing summer sun
The reality of the porch was,
Cool nights
Sleeping with the dogs and the cats
A shady spot on a hot summer day
Twisting on the support poles
Intoxicated by the motion
 Of reality
Good as the myth

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Summer 2013 September 12


76/77 degrees.  Summer is definitely on the wane.  One week since dental surgery (September 5) and I still have numbness in my mouth, occasional pain and aching etc.  Not bad, but more than I expected.  
I did resume bicycling this morning, which made me feel good.  I missed it.  I did taper the amount down some, eliminated the last "victory lap" through the neighborhood.  While the stationary bike probably doesn't do a lot, it does provide me a chance to do something while I read my daily papers!
Drove to Jackson yesterday.  I don't think I really realize or appreciate being in the "MidSouth" until I drive outside the City.  I actually really appreciate Memphis and love Lakeland, both for what they are.  Different, thank goodness, but it doesn't mean I don't appreciate the wonders of Memphis.  Every time I drive over the Mississippi I think about rafting down the Mississippi.  Not that I have any visions of me doing it or any desire to, but I enjoy thinking that that is where Huck Finn (or Tom Sawyer, I never could keep it straight) went rafting.  The history of this area is just wonderful.  
Anyway driving to Jackson on the Interstate doesn't really let me appreciate the Tennessee countryside.  Some day, I am going to drive the back roads.  Also I have been here 12 years and haven't been to Shiloh, which is only about 40 miles.  I keep waiting for that perfect time.  We see so much when we have visitors and want to show them the "sights" we haven't seen ourselves!  My brother-in-law and his wife are coming for  visit, so we will probably see some of the sights next week at we show them around!
Hope today slows down some, I have a lot of things to get done!  Sounds kind of weird, but it's true.
The poem today from "The World Without End is Ending" is "Daybreak".  Again, I'm not sure of the academic purpose of this.  I guess the years do matter.  It has been a long time since I got up at 6:50 a.m., except from a nap!  I actually wake up a lot more alert also.
DAYBREAK
 Yellow light,
Fractured by the shades
Filters into the room
6:50 a.m.
 Sleep collapses into shrilling alarm
With silky voices
 Into reflection
Of plastic answers
Brain foggy
 Dark emotions
Dreams, now
Exposed to light
 New decisions
The new day
Hits my face
Like cold water
 Day breaks
Into the glass of light
 Cold water
Hits my face
 New day
New Decisions

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Summer 2013 September 11


76/79 degrees this morning.  Walked and weights, but didn't cycle again.  I have a meeting in Jackson, so I have to leave early, so I decided not to push it.  Hopefully will get started back tomorrow.
Obviously,  remember September 11, 2001, as well as April 19, 1995.  Almost like you can't believe it's happening, but you know it is.  I have a hard time believing has been 12 years since the Twin Towers and almost 19 years since Oklahoma City.  I was in Oklahoma City when on April 19 and the weeks and months after so I saw the continued impact of the destruction and all it entails.
I think that is something I always try to remember is the "long tail" of any action, the effects of an act you can't predict and how it affects you in a myriad of ways that you did't expect and frequently didn't want.  
The saying "First, do no harm" is perhaps a good start to actions.
It has been in incredibility  busy  two days (Monday and Tuesday).  Hopefully get some relief to day and get some time to get some things done that I have to get done.  
I am taking a class this morning to get some of the required hours for the "Certified Municipal Finance Officer" (CMFO) training.  A super program, it includes 11 full days of instruction with a test over the material for each day (that is 11 days over the period of a year, not straight through).  It requires 24 hours of "continuing education" training  each year, which is good.  
Unfortunately,  the opportunity to get hours isn't as good in West Tennessee (which I found is frequently the neglected part of Tennessee) as in other areas of Tennessee so I have to take every opportunity to obtain the certification hours.  
A short thunderstorm yesterday afternoon shut down the City e-mail and phone service.  You forget how important it is until you don't have it
Poem today from "The World Without End is Ending" is " Winter Sundays", probably written as a special assignment, I'm not sure what.  The first part refers to my Father, who grew up in an orphanage that would probably be considered child abuse in today's world.  He saw his sister about once a year and got an orange once a year at Christmas.  Reading on the orphanage in later years, I expect he was telling the truth and probably not telling us some other events that would have stunned us.  He worked his way through collage, which I think the "shoveling coal" probably refers to.  
I doubt that this ever actually happened, except he did listen to WIBW , Topeka pubic radio and "Music of the Masters" on Sunday while (I assume) he took a nap, maybe he was only meditating.  Actually I enjoy classical music and did even as a child.
I have always been entranced by fiddle and violin music.  My Mom told me once, even as a child, when I heard a violin or fiddle, I would stop everything and listen to the violin or fiddle music.  
WINTER SUNDAYS
 Sundays, my Father
Walked briskly in the early morning cold
Heels crunching on the frozen grass
And describing his early life of
Shoveling coal for little pay
Oranges only at Christmas
Life without electricity, running water
And money, while I
 Walked with him
And dreamed of a future
Of thundering red Corvettes
Travel to beaches and mountains
And plenty of money
 Sunday afternoons
He listened to classical music
During his after dinner nap
Dreaming of the good old days while
I listened to the Orange Blossom Special
And the Black Mountain Rag
Captured crooks
With the Hardy Boys
And dreamed of fiddling
With Bob Willis and the Texas Playboys
Dilemmas
In the magical kingdom
Of life

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Summer 2013 September 10


76/79 degrees.  Seems cool.  Just walked and lifted weights this morning, no cycle yet.  6th day since dental surgery.  Still bothers me, actually hurts worse this morning than before.  Apparently effects of swelling etc.  Just not ready to cycle yet.  
Extremely busy day yesterday, just really feel time limited to say the least.  Still limited in what I eat (obviously I chew on the right side of my mouth, but carrots and apples are still a hard sell to eat right now!).  
Birds out out again this morning, but a different type of bird, not the "cawing' bird.  Heard the cicadas last night, the sound always brings back my childhood when they were abundant.  The sound doesn't bother me in fact I kind of like it (like tree frogs).  
A number of meetings this week.  While I realize they are necessary, they take up a lot of time.  
Kali and Katherine are into school again.  I remember when I was their age, I always silently wish them well.  It is difficult and each person has to live it herself.
Summer is ending soon.  Life cycles fast.  I know that everyone has to change, it is a necessary process, but... 
The Apple announcement is today.  I always look forward to what they are going to present, hopefully a "surprise" this year!  I jumped from an iPhone 3 to an iPhone 5 (I really like the iPhone 5), so I am unlikely to upgrade to just an enhanced iPhone 5s very soon.  I have learned to check the "product cycle" since it seems I tend to purchase something just as it becomes obsolete by the next cycle.  (Purchased my first iMac, just before the change to the intel chip etc.) Anyway, that has made me very cautious  about buying Apple products that have been around for awhile.  
My poem today, from "The World Without End is Ending" is "Celebration".  Again, I was in a Poetry class where each poem was aimed at a certain objective.  I don't know what the objective was on this one, but I enjoyed writing it.  some of my favorite things are in there, coffee, the mail (now e-mail!), lifting weights (I used to do it at noon, which was a wonderful break in the day, not I do it early morning), cherry pie and twilight.  
CELEBRATION
I celebrate
The first jolting cup of hot black coffee
Lake a blade cutting through the fading dreams
I celebrate the ritual of 
Lifting weights of iron
In the middle of daily chaos
 I celebrate the surprise phone calls
The morning mail,
A letter or card arriving
Like a sudden unexpected gift

I celebrate the cherry pie
Delightfully red and sweet
A marvel of perfection
Amid the routine of ordinary

I celebrate the twilight
And all stars defending the settling
Of darkness

Monday, September 09, 2013

Summer 2013 September 9


79/82 degrees this morning.  Oddly enough, it almost feel cool.  Daylight is getting much shorter, still (at 6:40 a.m.) almost too dark to sit on the patio this morning.  
Day 5 after dental surgery.  Not doing as well as I expected, to be honest.  Still feel a lot of discomfort, which is ok and somewhat expected, but I didn't expect my mouth to still be numb.  A little concerned and will call the dentist.
Haven't exercised much since the surgery (I'm concerned about cracking the scab and bleeding starting again), but I still lost almost 4 lbs, I guess because eating is uncomfortable and I don't really feel like eating.  However, I hadn't noticed that I ate any less.  I'll take it anyway of course!  Hope to get back to my bike riding soon.  
Felt better yesterday than Saturday.  Caught up on some work, did some reading etc. 
Out on the patio now, and it still seems relatively cool.  I'm sure that will change as the day goes on.  
Still listening to "The Willpower Instinct"  (I received my copy of the book), and this morning was a discussion on how reminding yourself NOT to do something may just help you do it.  Rather than trying not to think about not doing something (such as over eating), the author suggests you "surf" the matter and accept the fact you will have thoughts about it and don't (at least subconsciously) that you are a bad person that you can't not think about it.  Obviously the book explains it a lot better than I do!  
I learn by explaining something so I may try to explain one small thought each day!  
My poem today from "The World Without End is Ending" is "Melancholy".  I'm not quite sure why I wrote this, I"m sure it was an assignment.  In a way I like it, but I also am a little disturbed by an attitude of distrust or anger at a certain segment of society, since I don't feel like anyone is defined by their stereotype.  Perhaps I'll think about this a little, which is one reason for poetry in the first place.
MELANCHOLY
 Nothing blossoms
 I stare
Half in malice
At their accurate lives
Proper style, proper language
 Their ignorant elegance
In the formal accents
 A little madness
A southern drawl
 Trendy slang nonsense is rewarded
 The language alters
Sweet notes
Of sufficient length
Proper words, proper grammar
 Visual repetition of an earlier era
But the moment is gone
 No rewards
The sky is still cloudless
 And the uncomfortable sound
of the ordinary note
 and the endless silence
Of a missing song
Continues

Sunday, September 08, 2013

Summer 2013 September 8


74/76 degrees this morning, coolish morning.  Still comfortable on the patio, but on the edge
4th day after dental surgery.  I have to say I am not feeling as well as I expected to by now.  Now sure what it is, it isn't the teeth extraction as much as it is the jaw area they took the bone graft from.  Feeling like I can't open my mouth much and like part of my jaw is still numb.  Overall, a feeling of tiredness and listlessness that I almost never feel.  Hard to get started even though I have a  wealth of items to do and catch up on.  Hard to eat, although that isn't really a problem.  At first I though maybe it was caffeine  withdrawal, since I haven't drink near as much coffee as I normally do.  Could just be the side effects of surgery.  Mouth and jaw area where the bone was grafted is very sore.
Other than that, yesterday and this morning were good days.  I take my nap with an icepack on my face and I have to be careful of yawning or my mouth hurts.  I am  concerned about opening the scab so the cut area starts bleeding again.
Just walked this morning, didn't cycle since I didn't want to hurt my mouth any.  Listening to "The Willpower Instinct" during walk.  Really good thoughts about how we assume our "future selves" will have more time and energy in the future etc.  Also, mentioned what I all the "broken window" theory, in that small crimes encourage bigger crimes.  The theory in "The Willpower Instinct" is that small breaches of willpower, rules etc is catching.  For example, she notes that if someone chains their bicycle to a "no bicycle sign", people are not only more likely to chain their bicycles in violation of the sign, they also are more likely to litter, trespass etc.  She also mentioned that motorist speeding could "give us permission" to eat badly, not quit smoking etc!  It is really a great book.
My poem today from the "World Without End is Ending" is actually a  poem written to a specific form, the "Haiku", so that is it's title.  It is about my favorite subject, the seasons and how fast they pass.
HAIKU
 Spring dissolves into
dusty dry red pictures
of ordinary death
 winter arrives as
a glittering and guilty
victim of summer
 patterns of green lurk
in trees, visual systems
of an early spring
 birds, brightly colored
trill songs, desperate homage
to slumbering sun

Saturday, September 07, 2013

Summer 2013 September 7, 2013


71/73 degrees this morning.  Relatively cool.  Third day after dental surgery (for implant). Jaw still feels somewhat numb, oddly enough.  Most uncomfortable where the bone was grafted from for the tooth to be implanted (or teeth, since there are two of them).  I am surprised at how many people I know that have had or going through the implant procedure.  I have quit taking any pain medicine, but am still taking antibiotics.  Still have difficulty eating, especially anything but "soft" food, but that is ok for right now.
E-mails really piled up while I was out of the office, in spite of the fact I tried to keep up at home.  I don't think I ever fully realize just how much time it takes to read and respond to an e-mail.  
Birds are noisily this morning for some reason.  Maybe they are seeing the snake I saw the other morning, or maybe it is a cat playing with them.  The birds are making a "cawing" noise, a lot of them. 
The poem today, from "The World Without End is Ending" is "My Day of Gray".  This is probably one of my more favorite of the poems.  While it illustrates a day at the office, when I read it, I am reminded of when I was in the first to fourth grade in a Country, old fashioned one-room school that actually had one teacher (Miss Porterfield) who taught all eight grades.  I remember looking out the windows of the school onto a beautiful scene day after day of trees and grass.  It was wonderful.  I'm not sure where the idea for the "blue buffalo" came.
MY DAY OF GRAY
Blue Buffalo scatter in the green grass
Outside my window
 Brightening an otherwise cloudy gray day
 While I,
 Hearing the sound of duty
 Eventually
 Return to
 Reading the dry reports
 Yellowing on my desk