My Mother's LIfe, from the Perspective of the 15th Anniversary of her death

15 years ago today, I received a phone message from my mother, and she ended the message with a kind of gasp. I called back and didn't get an answer.  It didn't alarm me much because I assumed she had fallen asleep.

The next morning I called and when I didn't get an answer I called my brother in law and my sister checked and found she had died either during the night or that morning  

Later we found she had called all of us children, and many of her friends and relatives like she knew it was her last day.

The services were in Soldier, Kansas, near where we lived on a farm near Holton, Kansas for many years.  When I was a child, I remember visiting the Soldier Cemetery on Memorial Day to visit the graves of my Grandfather and Grandmother.  The Soldier Community is a unique small Community which maintains the Cemetery in pristine condition and also maintain a community center.  The people in the community still provide a lunch on Memorial Day and provide catering for funerals.  It is a very unique city.  We visit and find the tradition continues, the Cemetery is in excellent shape and the community center, with the outside playground, is still in excellent shape.

The week of the funeral was beautiful fall weather.  As I watched the leaves turn, I wondered why the end of human life couldn't be as beautiful as the end of Summer.  My Mom would have appreciated the fact that an American Indian presided at the services and he told stories about her life he learned from talking with all of us about her life.  

15 years later, I still have a problem reviewing the papers of her early life, with all the hopes and dreams of the young.  I review them and I think it makes me see her more as the individual person she was rather than my mother, which she also was.  

 It is difficult to imagine that 15 years have gone by since that day in 1997.  As I age, I appreciate more and more both what Mom and Dad went through, although I can't imagine how they did it with seven children to care for.  

The Invisible Man

(With apologies for H.G. Wells and Ralph Ellison).

As I continue to prepare for my "Ride with the Summer" (from Mexico to Canada) in either 2014 or 2015, I have started riding in the daytime in addition to my normal riding early in the morning.  I plan on training to do a 15 mile ride in October and next summer be prepared to do one of the week long rides of 50 miles or so per day (Free Wheel in Oklahoma or Ride across Kansas or Ride Across Tennessee) to help me prepare.

Since I am not used to riding with substantial traffic, I reviewed the guidelines and quickly realized I need to "act like vehicles don't see me".  The very first day I found value in that concept.  Another not even close to creating any problems, a vehicle made a left turn in front of me and probably didn't even see me.  This was in spite of my bright "high visibility yellow" shirt, and flashing lights etc.

I started "commuting" to the gym each morning, but that is in the dark with little traffic.  Riding in the daylight with substantial traffic is a new experience for me, since this is the first time in several years I have ventured to right the bike in the daylight.  I realized 2014 or 2015 would be here fast, plus I just enjoy it.

I am asked about getting bored while riding the bike.  Actually, I almost never get bored.  Many letters and memos have been "written" while I was on the bike!  I just need to return and write what I composed in my head!

In the early morning, I normally wear my iPod and listen to music.  (I listen to audiobooks while I walk in the morning.)

I am currently riding about 60 minutes per day, plus 36 minutes on the stationary bike and 32 minutes of walking.  This was over the Labor Day weekend and included 42 minutes of bike riding during the day in addition to my normal morning ride.  I don't feel like I have time time to ride as much as I need to to prepare for my "Ride with the Summer", but I'll do what I can!  

Bike Commuting

I have been "commuting" on my bike for several weeks now.  It has been an interesting experience even though it is a short "commute" since it is from my house to the gym early in the morning, not to the office!

I take my walk, and then ride my bike to the gym to (I know, this sounds strange) to ride the stationary bike while I read my newspapers for the day.  Fortunately I have a great paper carrier who gets my papers to me early.  

I finally resolved the Wall Street Journal problem and it is delivered with the local paper, so I have plenty to read while I am riding the stationary bike!

I have quickly gotten addicted (in a positive sense) to my bike commute each morning and look forward to it.  Traffic is not a major problem (this is about 3:45 to 4 a.m.) and I am "well lit" by flashing lights and reflective clothing.  I think I look forward to my walk (about 30 minutes) prior to the bike ride and bike ride as a way to reflect.  

As I mentioned to someone recently, a lot of memos, letters and e-mails are written while I walk and ride the bike, I just have to write them down when I get back!

I love listening to music while I ride.  I know I'm really not supposed to, but I do use earplugs that I can hear traffic with. 

I listen to non-fiction books while I walk and music while I ride my bike.  

65!

My 65th birthday has come and gone, and I am now "65".  Actually had a nice birthday, really don't feel older.  Actually I have been so busy with a variety of projects I haven't had time to post.

I think the worst thing about getting older is you really realize the limitations of time, how little time you have to explore new worlds and really learn how to do something.  There are a number of computer programs I'd love to learn, many books sitting on my desk (well, really, the floor) I'd love to read, magazines that I toss without reading because the next issue is here etc.  

While I'm not even close to thinking about retiring, I like the idea that in a few years I may have the time to investigate and learn more.  Of course, I wonder if I will care when I have what some people have told me is "every day is a Saturday"!  Somehow, I have have a feeling I will be just as pushed for time when I retire as new projects arise to fill the time.  I have always assume that what makes time so valuable is how little there is of it, but from what I have seen if you have a variety of interests you can never get bored.  

Time Warp

As I approach my 65th birthday, I still have a hard time realizing I will actually be 65 years old.  All my life, I have thought about 2012 being some mythical time when I would be 65 and officially old.  I may be officially old.... but

Of course, I am approaching 65 shortly, and I don't feel old.  Other people might perceive me as old, and in real terms, I will be old, but I hardly think or feel like I thought 65 years old would feel when I was (say) in the seventh grade.

It was five years ago that I wrote that in "ten years I would be 70".  It is almost like a time warp that five years have went by in such a short time!  Certainly the time from when I was in the 8th grade and now is definitely like a time warp.

Fortunately I don't feel any need to act, dress or think "young".  I hope I think, act and dress as I want to and not "young" or "old".  

Unlike my Dad, my views and feelings in many areas have changed significantly and differing from the way older age affects how people perceive the world.  It's not necessarily bad or good, just the way it is.  

Above all, I have tried to keep my thinking and behavior flexible so I can adjust to changing conditions while have a hard backbone of core beliefs that do not change.  I guess only people who know me can advise if I succeeded or not.  

I think the hardest thing about living life is that options close as you get older, normally starting around the mid-thirties.  I  suddenly realize that an option is no longer available and I don't necessarily feel sad about it, but I realize it is what it is.  

Bicycle Commuter

This is my start of my training for my "follow the summer" ride I plan on making in two years.  I need to get used to biking in traffic.

This morning I decided to "commute" to the gym by bike rather than drive.  (Hardly a major decision since it is only a mile or so.)  The expected hassles of locking my bike, taking care of the helmet etc. were not exceptional and I enjoyed it.

It may seem a little weird to bike to the gym to ride the stationary bike, but that (riding the stationary bike) is when I read the morning papers.  

I have been a newspaper reader since I was in the 7th grade, and it is one of the more enjoyable moments of my day.  

40 pounds!

This morning I weighed myself and found I have lost 40 lbs since the day after Christmas!

I am pleased, and primarily because I am not really on a "diet" that I will eventually get off of.  It is just the way I eat and live, which hopefully means I can maintain it well.  My actual goal is to lose about 15 more pounds, but it doesn't really matter.  My main goal is to not gain it back!  I have a significant investment in new clothes to provide an incentive, but the best incentive is the way I feel

In the Midst of Chaos

This has been a really busy summer for a number of both personal and work reasons.  Yes, I love it!  There have been some challenges and that is what living is all about.

I was thinking this morning of the events in the day I have really come to value, which includes my early morning 35 minute walk, (listening to a non-fiction book, normally on a subject I normally wouldn't read about) outside bike ride on may bike and then I go to ATC (Around the Clock) fitness to ride the stationary bike for 35 minutes while I read the daily papers (Commercial Appeal and WSJ, except I add the NY Times on Friday, Saturday and Sunday) and listen to music on my ancient iPods  The three "gumstick" iPods are at least 6 years old and appear to still have a strong battery.  Thank goodness, because it costs more than they are worth to replace the battery!  I found that the new "shuffle" iPods are near as good as the original "gumstick" ones are.

Then I have my 27 minute nap (why 27 minutes, I don't know) and then, weather permitting, I sit out on the wonderful patio and work as I listen to the wind blow through the woods in back of my house.

Small pleasures but essential!  Then I eat my oatmeal and blueberries and head off for work.

I don't have any similar rituals at night, or even during the day, except for my coffee, so that is probably one reason I treasure the early morning hours and keep waking up earlier and earlier!

Moon Day revisited

Friday, July 20, 2012:

Another Friday!  Sitting on the patio on a beautiful Friday morning. I love the patio in the early morning, the cool breeze and the noise of the forest behind the house.

On July 20, 1969, I was in San Antonio Texas (Lackland AFB) going through basic training in the Air Force.  I had started July 15, 1969, so it was still a very new experience!  We got "off" that day since it was "moon day", but it wasn't really like  day off! I didn't have any idea of the experiences yet to come (both good and bad).

Also, throughout my life "65" years has always been some kind of threshold, so the year 2012 always had a special fascination with me.  Now, I find out it is really just another year and (hopefully) "65 years old" will be just another age.  

OMG, I'm 65!, part 1

Within three weeks, I will be 65 (August 6).  It is a shock to say the least, although I can't say I didn't know it was coming nor am I really upset about it.  It is what it is.  In a lot of ways, I feel lucky.  I am relatively healthy, I have a job I enjoy and thrive at, I enjoy my house and basally enjoy my life.  I was also very lucky to meet and marry Aliene over 15 years ago!

When I was a child, I remember how adults mentioned how the years sped by and I fully realize now what they meant!  I have to admit, I don't consider 65 "old" anymore and the age I consider "old" has gotten older each year!

Years ago I thought I would be retired either at or before 65.  Now, I can't imagine myself being retired and hope to work until at least 70, assuming I still enjoy my job and am relatively healthy.

Trying to decide about Medicare and all of the options.  Since I am covered by the City of Lakeland group health insurance, I don't need it but realize the possible danger in not getting it now.

The Countdown to Age 65 has started.  I'll see how I feel as the dreaded age approaches!

Courter Reunion 2012

Left on Wednesday for Courter Reunion 2012.  Scattered rain throughout the trip, nothing bad.  Aliene, Kali and Katherine.  After initial qualms decided to drive our car with over 100,000 miles (which we trust all the same!) instead of a rental vehicle.

Overall trip went fine, one delay.  Stopped at RubyTuesday's in Russellville Arkansas, where I had my usual meat loaf with garden bar and snap peas.  Longer wait than usual.  As I mentioned, Ruby Tuesday has my 3rd favorite meat loaf, with the # ! being Aliene's and # 2 being Crackerbarrel.

Arrived at our favorite hotel, Hampton Inn at Exit 55 in Clarksville too late to swim.  They have a wonderful swimming pool here.  They left some peanut butter cookies (my favorite) in the room and I break my eating plan (no cookies usually) for these!  They are wonderful.  (We stay here a lot on our way back and forth from Oklahoma City. I highly recommend it if you are ever in the area.

Thursday, July 12, 2012:  Woke up at 3:06 a.m., didn't want to get up too early since driving through to Topeka.  Got up at 4:06 a.m. and worked, responded to e-mails etc.

Breakfast at Hampton Inn, headed for OKC to pick up Angela.  Stopped at the Oklahoma Welcome Center (as normal), the "Fiesta Convenience Store" at exit 278 and the Love's at exit 200.

Got to OKC early, went to Penn Square (Where Kali and Katherine shopped at Justice), lunch at Jimmy's Egg (where I used the last of a gift card I received for Christmas).  Aliene to hair appt.

Angela's car is having transmission problems, so picked her up at transmission shop

On to Topeka in a crowded car!.  Gas at the Loves at 122th Street and then on to Topeka with only one stop at the New Haven Turnpike spot.  On the turnpike, averaged 80 mph with light traffic, so a good trip!

Arrived at Topeka around 8:20 p.m., happened to drive in right behind Kim and Jerry (my Brother in Laws) and met Rebecca (my niece) and Margaret (sister) as they were getting out of their car!. Shortly after, met Eleanor (sister) and Rebecca's dogs!

Settled into room, Target for water etc.

Friday, July 13, 2012:

Up at 3:36 a.m., worked on e-mail etc.  Clubhouse Inn, Topeka, Kansas # 108

Pavilion, around 6 a.m., Eleanor there.  Jerry joined, then Rebecca, Kim, etc.

Breakfast, Clubhouse Inn

Rain most of morning, visited etc.

West Ridge Mall, lunch at Chick-Fil-a (Cow, got free entree for wearing hat).  Aliene, Angela and girls shopped at Justice etc.

Swim with Katherine.

Visited, Supper at On the Border

Visited at hotel with Aliene, Margaret, Eleanor, Barbara, Mary Ann, Mary Lou, John etc.

Saturday, July 14, 2012:

Up at 4:01 a.m., worked, checked e-mail etc.  Joined the early morning crowd on the Pavilion and visited.  Ate breakfast at hotel.  Pavilion Crowd included, Eleanor, Jerry, John, Rebecca, Margaret.

Visited most of morning as Kenneth, Aunt Eleanor, Chuck and Le Ann arrived.  Lunch at Chipolta. (sp).  Surprised that they are glutton free.  Excellent food.

Visited afternoon. Saturday night supper at Cieras (sp) Italian.

Sunday, July 15, 2012:

Early morning crew at Pavilion again.  Jerry, Eleanor, Margaret, John, etc.  Breakfast, hotel.

Visited, then lunch at Cracker Barrel.  Actually had some of the chicken which was excellent.

Courter Reunion pictures and meeting etc.

Holton (Soldier cemetery) with Eleanor and Aliene.  Snack at Trails Inn.  Always amazed at how active the little town of Soldier is and how they maintain their park and cemetery.

Supper at Chipolta.  Swim with Kali and Katherine, then visit around pavilion.

Worked, caught up on some paperwork, ready to return to the real world!

Monday, July 16, 2012:  

Clubhouse Inn.  Up early, breakfast, pack and say goodbye's to the persons left.  

Drive down Kansas Turnpike (I-35) went well, light traffic.  Stopped in Guthrie for gas, girls wanted to eat at Arby's, so I tried a salad.  Not bad.

Returned Angela and girls safely, headed for Exit 55.  Stopped in Alma, Arkansas for "last supper" at Braums (I even had a medium strawberry shake!)

Arrived at exit 55 (Hampton Inn, Clarksville, Arkansas).  Went swimming in their wonderful pool.  Upgraded to room with whirlpool, which is nice.

Up at 3:30 am., headed for Lakeland

Arrived in Lakeland, ate breakfast, headed for office.

Courter Reunion 2012 is over.  

The Courter Reunion is always kind of a yardstick for me, I think since it is so close to my birthday and it is the start of the end of Summer.  I have actually attended (I believe) continuously since 1988.  

It was a nice reunion.  I like the laid back atmosphere where you can sit and talk with one (or more) persons for a long period of time, take a break etc.  It is always somewhat of a bittersweet feeling, since you know you probably won't see most of them (or any) for a year.

I'll add some pictures.

Summer of 2012

The Summer of 2012 is almost 50% over (for all intents and purposes!).  It has been busy, I haven't kept up with my blog, diary or other notes!  I didn't do my June 21 beginning/ending of summer.

However, I AM in my favorite summer place.  Sitting on my patio in the early morning reading, drinking coffee (and water) and working on my computer!  Not quite as poetic as "Standing on the Corner in Winslow, Arizona", but I think of it during the long winter and decide to enjoy every moment of it in the summer!  Aliene and I actually went to see the "Standing on the Corner in Winslow, Arizona".  The City (or Chamber) have quite a promotion of the song!  I'm tying to think of a poetic way of describing my favorite early summer pastime, but I haven't some up with anything yet.

I enjoy the hot summer, heat doesn't bother me a bit.  I am enjoying the Summer of 2012 and only wish I had more spare time!

I was glad to see a deer in the "forest' in back of my patio the other morning, I thought maybe the development had scared off all of the deer.

The last suits?

One of the "good" "bad" results of losing weight is having to buy more clothes.  And more clothes!

I have had to buy 2 suits, new belts, shirts, slacks etc. to the tune of a substantial amount of money.  It is fun to find "new" "old" clothes that I saved for "when I lose weight" and it has actually happened, but I didn't save enough and I didn't realize how old they were.

The thought crossed my mind that this could be the last suit I will ever buy, considering my age.   Although I hope to keep working for at least 6 more years, (and living for many more than that)  I don't wear suits every day, so they could last for a considerable period of time.  The slacks, shirts etc. probably (or should I say hopefully!) will be replaced since they will wear out, although I still occasionally wear my 40 year old cowboy boots, and some 30 year old shirts and coats!

I did pick some sizes that will allow me to lost more weight (my goal is another 20 lbs) and hopefully not have to replace everything!

Thoughts on Bull Frogs and aging

The bullfrogs are croaking on my morning walks/bike rides again, which to me indicates that Spring and Summer is coming!  I have heard the first croaking in the past week, and I know warm (and hot) weather is coming!

It also means it is the summer I will turn 65 years old.  I never really thought 65 years old would feel like this (although I won't really know until my birthday and I actually tell someone I am 65 years old-I still haven't gotten used to telling people I'm over 50 years old!

Not that I regret turning 65 years old, it is just a fact.  I just hope I can continue to enjoy life for as long as it is a quality life.

I am glad I have continued my exercise, reading and working.  I walk approximately 1/2 hour every morning, then ride my bike (most mornings) and then go one to the gym (which is 1/2 mile away) and read the morning paper while I ride the stationary bike at a slow speed.  I still enjoy reading a physical paper while I am at home, although I have gotten used to reading newspapers on the internet while I am traveling away from home.

Aliene and I started watching our "carbs" right after Christmas.  Since the day after Christmas I have lost over 30 libs, which make me feel good.   Also, I have "grown into" some clothes I had previously grown out of, which makes me feel good.  Aliene has lost about 16 lbs, which is even better than me considering the relative weights.

While I enjoy all of the technology and the "social media" etc., I have found I don't write in my blog near as often for obvious reasons and I miss it.

Wonderful Spring day today!  Actually wore scandals, shorts and t-shirt and enjoyed being outside!  Wonderful to feel the Spring come, although it certainly hasn't been a bad Winter.

What is especially good, as I lose weight, I come into a whole new wardrobe of clothes that I haven't been able to wear for years, but always kept because someday....  Maybe "someday" is finally here!  I lost weight by what I call a "modified" low carb diet.  I rarely eat potatoes or bread and avoid foods with high carbs, although I do continue to eat oatmeal and blueberries (my favorite breakfast), which is relatively high in carbs and I eat a lot of high carb fruit and vegetables.  Although I haven't bothered to look through all of the details, I understand that the carbs in bread, potatoes and sugary foods are worse than the carbs in vegetables and fruit since they are a lot faster hitting your bloodstream.

Anyway, I think it is a eating pattern I can continue without any real problem.

I noticed I haven't been "blogging" much lately.  I think it is partly because of the many other opportunities (that still take your time since as Facebook, Twitter etc. and partly because it has just really been busy.

Winter Thoughs

As happens every year, I am amazed at how fast the year goes. Already almost March!

Of course, that also means the days are getting longer and Spring is coming! In spite of the fact it has been a mild winter, I am ready for Spring and Summer to arrive!

Today, it is cold (for here, 31 degrees), but sunny, so it should be a nice Presidents Day.

Although it seems a holiday and a vacation day should be the same thing, I like Holidays much better. If I get a call on a holiday, I know it normally is an emergency! On Vacation Days, I feel like I need to check phone calls etc. (I do on Holidays also, but I rarely get any on Holidays!)

Some of the Crocus flowers (they probably are something else, but I think of them as Crocus) are already blooming, probably to be frozen in place by at least one more freeze before winter is over!

Weight goal is reached!

I was pleased to note at my "weigh in" today, I reached my Weightwatchers weight goal! Of course, it just means I set another step goal (on to my final goal), but I am excited about reaching it.

I have been on "on line" weightwatchers for several years with some success, but also weight gains. The day after Christmas, I went on a very modified "low carb" diet. Basically I cut out potatoes and bread and many sweets (with high carbs). I was pleased at the results, especially since it is an eating plan I can continue as a "permanent" eating plan.

I was surprised at how may carbs fruits etc. had (although when I think about it, it makes sense), but I did learn that these are "good carbs".

I am continuing my exercise also, which I expect helps.

On to my next goal!

Jury Duty 2/6/12

Last December, I was called for a "Jury call". I drove down expecting 300 people or so, but there were per 3,500 of us!! I realized it when there was a traffic jam near the building where I was supposed to report to!

It was actually handled exceptionally well, and I was a assigned a week to report and advised basically unless I was dead or in the hospital, I was expected to report.

I have never been on a Jury before and have all of the thoughts about how good our jury system is, so it has been an exciting time (even if I am hungry, bored and hoping I can go to the bathroom!).

I get a whole $11 per day, which has to pay for parking ($6), lunch (who knows) and driving down here. (The gas to drive down here costs at least $6.)

Monday, February 6, 2012:

Jury duty this morning. Rushed to get here on time, sat for a two hour "orientation". Called five juries and I wasn't called yet! Now, 11:17 a.m., hopefully will make it until after lunch and then they may cut me loose for the day.

Rather interesting. The person doing the orientation is exceptionally good and they had a Judge (Judge Ward) stop by and kind of give a pep talk. My "hotspot" came in handy as they have a desk for computers, but no Wi Fi. I am sitting here hoping my hotspot and computer has enough battery power to keep going until I get home! Tomorrow, I'll being my electric cords!

Actually enjoying the free time to work without interruptions (although I did check for messages and check e-mail).

This entry will be continued.

Monday, Feb 6 (continued): At lunch in downtown Memphis (a BBQ place, but I had catfish.

Of course, called for jury duty immediately after lunch. Selected for jury, but can't comment it on it further until after Jury Duty complete.

Actually, I have been very impressed by the jury process in Shelby County. The Administrators are very professional and the Judges go out of their way to be fair and discuss the jury process.

Coffee Filters and Razor Blades

As 2012 starts (yes, I know, I have not kept up my blog, too many other distractions), I think of ways I measure time besides days or years.

In the early morning as I make my coffee, I look at the large pile of filters and think about the future represented in those filters? Where will I be and what will have happened by the time the stack of filters is used up? What changes will I have made, been made for me?

Strange to think of the future as represented by the use of the coffee filters, usually one each day. I don't even know how many filters are in a stack, probably 500 or so. I take a stack that seems like a bunch, but is manageable. Each time I get a new stack I think about what has happened and what the new stack will bring.

I don't remember when I started drinking coffee, probably in college. My parents were coffee drinkers, although they tended towards (if I remember right) decaffeinated coffee, which I don't really consider coffee.

I am lucky that I can drink a cup of coffee and fall asleep. I love drinking coffee and frequently drink coffee throughout the day, after starting the day with eight cups of coffee before I go to work (well, I don't really consider the coffee as measured by the coffee maker a true "cup", but, whatever). Also, it's not really 8 cups, since rarely finish the coffee.

I love hot, fresh, coffee and absolutely hate old and cold coffee. I don't hesitate to send coffee back if it is too cold or old (usually both) and also never hesitate (after breakfast time) to ask if the "coffee is fresh" and refuse to order coffee (just water please) if the sever doesn't brighten up and say "I'll make a fresh pot". I figure if I pay $2.50 for a cup of coffee, they can make it fresh or at least have fresh coffee!

My favorite coffee? At home, Starbucks "French Roast" is the only way to go. (I'm putting a coffee pot of my own at the office so I can have it at work also).

As far as eating out coffee, Starbucks, McDonalds and Steak n Shake are all excellent. TGIFridays coffee tastes like it is instant and I quit ordering it . (TGIFridays dose have excellent sweet tea). Cracker Barrel coffee is excellent as long as it is fresh and hot.

I LOVE the Starbucks ice coffee, especially in summer. I do have to avoid driving after I have a refill though, the only time I get a light "coffee high"!

Razor blades-I measure the past through razor blades. This started in college when the "disposable" razors first came out. I was so poor that I cabbaged onto some of the free disposable razors and used them literally months at a time. (Maybe why I grew a beard for awhile!)

Whenever I replaced one, I would think about what happened in the past, the time measured by the razor. Years ago, I got tired of the disposable razors and went to a razor blade with disposable blades. Now I change the blade every "regular meeting" of the Lakeland Board of Commissioners, which is once a month. It makes me change it before it gets too bad, plus it provides me with a measuring device.

Such are my thoughts in the early morning, before the everyday world starts and time is measured in hours, minutes and seconds!

Hope all who read this are having a wonderful 2012!

Two Homeless Men in Starbucks

I had coffee with two homeless men in Starbucks tonight. Not really “had coffee”, but they were in Starbucks when I was. (They didn’t buy anything, but they did eat a sandwich they bought in and washed it down with what looked like gin, or maybe it was a bottle of water.)

They were quiet and courteous. They unloaded their possessions, actually enough to seriously impede their mobility, and, I couldn’t help but notice, quite nice luggage (actually gym type bags.)

Of course everyone carefully ignored them and they didn’t bother anyone, except to ask someone if it was supposed to rain.

It is rainy and cold (and most of all, windy) here (in Oklahoma City) and I suddenly thought how I don’t like rain and wind as an inconvenience, it is really important if you are homeless.

I couldn’t remember the last time I thought of a homeless person as other than someone I see walking down the street, asking for money at the intersections or asking me for money as I carefully avoided looking at him or her.

Actually, the last time I probably associated with homeless persons was when I was in college and working summers in Denver. I came from an extremely small town and probably had never been in a city as big as Denver. I came out to work at a summer job in a Samsonite Factory. (I can still do the moves I did on the assembly line.)

My Mom gave me a check to sustain myself until I got my first paycheck, and, of course, no one was about to cash a check from a city they had never heard of before!

I actually slept in the bus station and other areas for several days until the bank associated with Samsonite finally cashed the check and my parents sent me some more money! Actually, I never had any problems, although I kept my distance also.

I still probably won’t look at homeless people any differently and I still resent being asked for money. Years ago, I started adding a little extra on tips to servers etc., but I refuse to succumb to what I consider to be extortion of someone asking me for money on the street.

I decided a long time ago, I’d give a little extra to help working people, but not panhandlers. I realize probably a percentage actually really, really need the help, but I just don’t like being approached asking for money. It isn’t just Memphis, I’ve been approached on a regular basis in Lakeland at gas stations. Maybe I’m not thinking about it in Lakeland, so I look more like I might give, but I especially resent it when I am approached late at night, it is too much like a robbery attempt. I probably should give something just on the basis that I may be helping someone who really does need it, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m much rather continue adding a dollar or two the tips to people who work and are trying to help themselves.

It was an interesting experience and certainly gave me a more personal experience with the current group of homeless people (I have a feeling the ones I saw tonight were some of the “new” homeless, who may have had a good job, owned their own home and never thought they would be homeless, in the recent past. It is easy to look at them and see myself in their place and question my thoughts on this and my policy of not giving money to panhandlers.

As I am reminded, given an unlucky break here and there, it could just as easily be me.